Mommies shouldn't be allowed to die...

Last night I threw a mild tantrum. I wanted to buy an new dress for Cory's wedding but couldn't justify it. I want to get Carson more toys than what we've already bought for his birthday. I was so sick of financial issues. I don't want to stress about having to buy one or two extra things here and there. I was pretty grumpy when I went to bed. This morning I was forced to drop my bad attitude.

I've admitted before about my addiction to blogs, especially my friends. It's gotten worse, however, and I've started stalking my friends, friends blogs. There's one in particular. Her name is Alisa and she has stage 3 melanoma. She's a 28 year old nurse, wife and mother of 3 small boys. I've become enamoured by her story (read it here). I check her blog often to read updates on her and her family. She talks about the medical aspects (she has a great sense of humor about this) and how her family is handling everything (these parts aren't so funny). Her 6 year old son won't talk about cancer and gets upset if anyone talks about it around him. During a family home evening, where the topic was cancer, he covered his ears with his hands and refused to listen. His dad was talking about the best day of his life (the day he married Alisa) and how their family was sealed forever. How, some day, they would be together again, just like they were at that moment. How do you prepare kids for something like that?

In her last post, she talked about her 6 year old again. He's become obsessed (my words, not hers) with curing her, making her drink Noni juice and take a mushroom extract because he overheard adults talking about their benefits with battling cancer. She tried to explain that it may help but it won't cure cancer, but he just kept insisting that it would. He is so desperate to keep his mother with him. She took him on a date to the planetarium. She noticed how insignificant she was amongst all the stars and planets. But, to this little boy, she is his world. That's when she noted that mommies shouldn't be allowed to die. It broke my heart, and at the same time, lifted me so high. We all have trials and stresses in our lives. I've been whining a lot lately about my life and how weary I am with the same struggles we've had throughout our married life. The truth is I have way more to be thankful for than I could ever hope for. I can't imagine what this mother is going through. What started as an UN-suspicious mole removal, has rocked their world.

She has surgery on Tuesday to remove lymph nodes. Then, it's one month of IV injections and feeling really sick (like having the flu) and then, giving herself shots for the rest of the year. I don't really know why I'm writing about this, except she's touched me and doesn't even know me. I'm not so concerned about dresses or toys anymore.