Valentine's Day + Bad News

Valentine's day (sigh) I usually love it. I get a prize and I buy my lovies prizes. We have a nice dinner together and Trevor and I teach them all about etiquette. Not this year. I was already feeling funky that day for no particular reason. I was just going through the motions, dropping of my babies at school with their awesome homemade valentines, cleaning up all of Will's messes at home, picking up Abby, taking her to dance, walking with my bestie, driving home, fixing lunch, showering and then I went to pick up the big boys.

That's when the bomb dropped. I got a text from my eldest (and wisest) sister, Rebecky. "Histio strikes again. New lesions in skull and pons-thickened pit stalk too. Will let u know more when we can. Dr. McClain (miracle Dr. from Texas) recommending higher doses of chemo-maybe even inpatient doses. Trying to learn if there r areas that can be safely biopsied right now". To which I replied, (aloud and via text) "Shit". To which she replied "Double shit". UGH! Again they have to go through this and much more aggressively too.

Well, I wanted to roll up in a ball and sob, so I called my honey instead and cried. Then I called my mom and we both cried. Then my sister Heather, but I think, by then, I was all cried out and I was just mad.

Then Trevor came home early and brought me this...

Oh, how I love him! I love that he was trying to heal my broken heart. It almost worked.

Then Trevor's mom came over and brought us this...

The kids were thrilled with their McDonald's gift certificates. I was thrilled with the sugar. Either way, it was such a sweet gesture and we loved it! She even help us clean up the mess we made when Trevor dropped my crystal vase (the first Christmas present he ever game me... SOB)!

Mimi's gift cards inspired us and Valentine's dinner was at Mickey D's. We gathered the kids around the table and read scriptures while they ate their Chicken Bites. We also told them that Jackson's evil Histio was back and that their family really need our prayers, ALL our prayers right now. Then Trevor gave our family prayer, and he cried, which made me cry again, and it's making me cry again remembering him crying (BTW it was a manly cry, not girly hysterics like me).

We put the kids down and ran to Panera for Valentine's Day soup and sandwiches. I would love to say we talked and had a decent time, but instead I was still texting my mom and sisters and even talking to Becky. She is amazing. She is so strong. I am constantly in awe of her. She even worked today. I didn't even want to get out of bed. Healthy no?

~Jackson with the Bro's-in-law over Christmas.~

Time will tell what the newest plan of action will be. Until then, prayers are all we can give to help. That fact alone set me off yesterday. I was so angry that I was so far away, not that I could really be of any help if I was there, but still. I wish I could run by Subway and get her a Diet Coke or make her one of my inedible meals. Instead, I'm here, blogging about it and frankly begging for your prayers on this special guys behalf. No 16 year old or his parents or his siblings should have to go through this three times!

To learn more about this rare condition go here, or here.

Reunions, Freezer Jam, And The Pox

So, yeah. We went to the Miles Family Reunion. It was awesome. There are a lot of crazy people in our family. It makes me proud. 4 1/2 hours isn't enough time for all the crazy, but we tried. The kids had some fun in the bounce house, swimming in the lake (more on that in a bit), playing games, hitting pinatas, and eating shaved ice (with flavors like, bubble gum and tiger's blood).

The adults had fun chatting, eating, playing "minute to win it" games, eating and chatting. We dig getting together with everyone. Especially when we inadvertently expose them all to the pox.

I swear we didn't know. After all, he has chronic dry skin and we thought it was eczema. There were no spots on his face or trunk area (until Monday which prompted me to finally take him to his pediatrician on Tuesday) just on his arms and legs. Plus, he's had two varicella vaccinations, so clearly he couldn't get chicken pox. Clear as mud. We truly apologize. If it makes you feel better (and it DOES NOT make me feel better), swimming in a lake at a family reunion isn't kosher with a kid with the pox. They get bacterial infections and their knees swell and get all red and hot. Then they go on antibiotics. On a brighter note, I drained the aforementioned knee. Disgustingly satisfying. It feels much better today and he was able to practice and will play in the Little League Championship game on Saturday morning. Whew. On a side note, his doctor has informed us that he is no longer contagious and is free to mingle with the rest of the population. His brothers and sister however...

And speaking of the price of eggs, I made freezer jam. For the first time. Ever. Not to brag or anything, but I'll bet it's the best freezer jam ever made in the history of man. I'm a natural. A bonafide jamming phenom with a box of Sure-Jell in my hand. One rookie mistake. I bought way, way, way too many strawberries. I made 5 batches (26ish containers) of jam and have enough left to make 7 more. So they're sitting patiently pureed, in freezer bags, until I find the time (or the will) to finish.

So Much To Say

But no energy to say it. Do pictures really say a thousand words? I hope so.

He's been sick.

But learned to crawl.



Sometimes he is unceremoniously dropped in the laundry basket by...

...this guy.

I made her some obnoxious hair accessories that I love.

This is her best friend.

Will fell in love, with Gloriana, at Preston's birthday party.





I have some seriously cute nieces and nephews (Avery has eluded me...and that's hard to do).

Awesome people brought him presents. He loves them all and hasn't taken off his necklace or I.D. bracelet yet. Probably won't...ever.

Adults came too.

And this is how we all felt that night.

Hand, Foot...But Mostly Mouth Disease

Poor little bunny. The fever started early Monday morning. We noticed her swollen gums Monday night (at Raegan and Reese's piano recital). Trevor chastised me for not brushing her teeth more. I vehemently told him that I do and she HAD brushed them that morning. Still oblivious, it took my walking friend and a call from my sister on Tuesday that turned the little light bulb on in my brain. Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. A quick check in her mouth and I found sores on the roof of her mouth and on her tongue. It's not serious, but it is contagious and man, it makes her breath stink. The fever is gone but the sores are worse. She's miserable at mealtime. It's a virus and there is nothing to do but let it run it's course. I hope it runs faster than me (because I'm slow...get it? Never mind).

~Red, swollen gums and sores on her tongue and chin. Excuse her hair, we're not that far into the day yet.~

~More tongue sores (and maybe a bit of breakfast)~

Are You Sick Of The Sickies Yet?

~The latest sickies in the house~

Yesterday was Opening Day for the boy's baseball league. It would have been a ton of fun IF...

1. Preston hadn't woken us up, writhing on the floor in absolute pain.
2. We hadn't spend 30 minutes trying to console a writhing Preston and were, therefore, late for Opening Day.
3. I wasn't team mom and forced to remember everything I needed to bring for the team and consequently left everything I needed for my own family (diaper bag, camera, cell phone)
4. Preston hadn't walked over to me 45 seconds after taking his team pictures and thrown up at my feet.
5. I hadn't had to leave my husband, eldest, and youngest child with Mimi so I could go back to those blasted Opening Ceremonies to march in a parade with Carson because I'm the blasted team mom.
6. I hadn't had to stay for the team BBQ afterward because I'm the team mom and felt obligated to be there, and was worried the whole 3 hours about Preston being sick and Abby being diaperless.
7. Almost every parent in the league insisted on drinking and caused the park to smell more like alcohol than BBQ.
8. When I finally got back to Mimi and Papa's house, I didn't find a VERY sick little boy who had thrown up again and then again.
9. I didn't start having some killer heartburn that has yet to cease and desist.
10. Trevor didn't get that darned flu bug again, later that night!


~On the floor of the bathroom~Abby bringing him our big blue vomit bowl, she's so helpful~

Everyone is feeling a little better tonight, with the exception of Trevor. I really wish I had, at the very least, remembered my camera yesterday. Even though Preston felt awful, the boys were so very, very cute in their little uniforms. Carson has his first game tomorrow. It should be interesting to see how he does and I vow to remember my camera this time.

P.S. Sunday night my stomach decided to take it's turn. At least it'll be over soon!

Sicky...The Sequel

Princess woke up at 9:30pm choking on her own vomit. Trevor scooped her up out of bed and boldly braved the end of her show. They hopped in the shower together and we journeyed downstairs. I changed her sheets, and started a load of laundry, complete with jammies (Trevor's and Abby's), blankets, sheets and a snugglie. She threw up again and we were NOT prepared. Trevor, and the rug got the brunt of it. Luckily, the washer was still in "wash" mode so I added her new jammies, fresh snugglie and Trevor's PJ's to the mix.

No worries, we've smartened our strategy. We now have her in clean jammies with her hair in braids and a bib for good measure. The next two episodes (if anyone is keeping score, that's four times in an hour) we had a bowl nearby and all clothing, linen and hair were spared. She has now fallen asleep on Trevor's chest, but we're gearing up for a long night. And I'm thankful.

I'm so grateful that I get to be a mom. I know it's hard and frustrating at times, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. I, like most of you, have been following Baby Gracie for the past year. Her mom had to say goodbye yesterday. I can't possibly imagine having to do that. We all have our trials and challenges in life. We are completely stressed right now, but our struggles seem so minimal today. So, I'll gladly stay up all night, holding my daughters head and changing her sheets and jammies as many times as necessary.



~Doesn't she look miserable...and mad that her daddy is taking pictures of her when she feels so miserable?~

Update: It was a long night. We made a little bed on our floor for her. She was up every half hour to throw up or to beg for a drink. The final count was 7. Trevor joined in her fun around 2:30am (they are currently napping together). Still, I'm thankful!

Sicky

So I was bragging the other day that my kids hardly ever get sick...

Carson came in this morning at 6:30am. This isn't out of the norm. He snuggles with us almost every morning. At 7:00am, he rolled over and said, "My tummy hurts". So I inquired as to whether it hurt because he was hungry or sick. He threw up into the air to answer my question.

After he was "done", he told us how he had been sleeping and threw up in his bed. We ventured to his room where, sure enough, his bed was covered in puke. Lovely. He was so funny afterwards. His mouth was moving mile a minute talking about how nasty throwing up was and how he gets to drink soda when he's sick even though soda is bad for kids.

It's now 9:30am and he has lost his cookies thrice more, before we left to take Preston to school, in the car (don't worry, I brought a pan and was prepared), and again at home, during Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. We took some reenactment photos for you.

~If this were real, I would be holding his forhead steady like my mom used to do. Yes, Abby plays in the shower.~

~There's nothing like the feel of cold tile when you're sick~Abby thought he'd feel better with stickers on his back~

Man Cold and Guys Eyes

It's time to yank my cute honey off the pedestal I put him on last Tuesday. Some of you may not know what "Guys Eyes" are, or what a "Man Cold" is. Most of you know exactly what I'm talking about. Trevor has a case of both.

"Guys Eyes" is a male disorder (named in the early 21st century, by psychologist Courtney Andersen) that renders a man completely blind to something right in front of his face. For instance, when we were leaving to go, I asked Trevor to grab Preston's shoes from the basement. Brenda: "They are on the floor in front of the couch." Trevor: "They aren't here!" Brenda: "Yes they are! Look harder!" Trevor: "They aren't here!" I huff downstairs and spot a blanket on the floor in front of the couch. In the case of a man with "Guys Eyes", it's not apparent to them to actually move anything that may be obstructing their view of whatever it is that they are searching for. I removed the blanket and low and behold..."I told you they were here!" Most men will stand, blankly staring around them, without moving anything in their way or moving themselves at all. This is "Guys Eyes". Think of it the next time your honey can't find something in the fridge.

A "Man Cold" is the condition of a man who has a mild to moderate illness and acts like he is going to die. In many cases, the man's wife will have the same illness and go throughout her day without missing a beat. See example below.



All 3 of my children have been sick, Preston and Abby even spiked fevers of 102. Trevor's hasn't been higher than 99.8, yet, I feel as though the kids have been vastly...tougher. This morning, Trev was hit with "Guys Eyes" and a "Man Cold" all at once. I was trying to get the boys ready for school, yelling for them to get dressed, brush teeth, comb hair, while also changing, dressing and doing Abby's hair. Trevor is muddling around in the medicine box and finally asks me where the decongestant is. I tell him it's downstairs in the cabinet with the glasses. He schlumps down...then back up, and declares it's not there. I've hit my limit.

"Trevor, you're just going to have to wait. I'm trying to get everyone ready for school and you'll just have to wait your turn!" Why? Why is it so hard? I run the kids to school and when I come back he's given up on me and taken some Dimatapp instead. Which he claims "Made me almost throw up". I go downstairs and look in the cabinet with the glasses. Can you guess what's in there?

He spends the rest of the day in bed and only comes down when I insist that he watch Carson, so I can take Preston to the doctor. I even took Abby with me. He swears he has strep. I inform him that is highly unlikely, since he's had his tonsils out. He calls me as we are waiting to get an X-Ray of Pres's chest (he has to have one before he sees his cardiologist) and tells me that he needs to go to the doctor. But he doesn't know where to go. He asks me if I have the number of the Instacare he went to once. OH MY OZ! He is utterly helpless. I say in my most patient voice that, no, I don't know the number, why doesn't he look it up. He calls back and says they don't take our insurance. What should he do? I tell him to call his doctor to see if they can fit him in or tell him of a different instacare, but before I can even finish my sentence, he says "I'll just wait until you get home".

I then make the phone calls for him in the car, and two minutes later, I have a new instacare for him to go to. I just don't understand. Why? Why is that so hard?

He's there now and just text messaged me "I'm miserable". I'm not kidding. I love the man, as you all know, but everyone has their flaws! I can vent about this because I'm his wife, right? Now I feel guilt. I'm sure after I've gone on and on about all this he'll end up having pneumonia or something terrible. It would serve me right.

*Editor's note * He has strep throat and had a fever of 102 at the doctors office. He wants me to inform everybody that he called it. You can all say it. I'm a jerk.

Still Laughing

Sunday: Church, nap, choir practice, met up with family to see Christmas lights, so fun! One neighborhood goes all out and draws crowds of thousands. It's free and amazing!

Monday: Took the two youngest to the doctor for a checkup, drank a Diet Coke on the way there, meanwhile, gas light comes on, I laughed. Insurance problems threatened to send us home, but we worked it out, I laughed. Carson got 4 shots (after each "Ow! That hurt!", I laughed), Abby got 3 (after each "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!"), two hours later, I laughed, we met Trevor for lunch where I had 2 Diet Cokes. Drove home with the gas light on, I nervously laughed. Made it home barely in time for me to RUSH in to the bathroom (product of the 3 previous Diet Cokes), I laughed. Attempted to drive to Sam's Club to get gas, but ran out in front of Preston's school, fairly convenient since school was set to end in 20 minutes, I laughed. Called dear friend, Heather, who picked us up, drove us home to get gas can, drove us to gas station, drove us back to our car, I laughed. I then successfully gassed up and drove home. Helped with homework and gave up on dinner. Realized I forgot my purse in Heather's van, I really laughed. Trevor got home and we settled into our evening routine (me online, him on XBOX), I was talking to my mom when my foot started itching...

Tuesday: Spent the day trying to ignore my randomly swollen, red, hived out foot and fighting off urge to sleep, a side effect of the Benydryl. No bite, no weird food, no detergent or soap change, just one of those mysteries, I laughed less than yesterday.

Wednesday: Cleaned up kitchen mess from yesterday's less than stellar housekeeping. Started a load of laundry. Trip to WalMart to buy ingredients for Christmas treats. On to Target to buy gift for Preston's teacher. Home again, put Abby down and put a movie on for Carson. Started making Almond Roca and Carson decides to play outside. Carson comes back in requesting to be called "Muddy boy" with good reason, I laughed, mopped, and put him in the tub. Cleaned up Almond Roca mess. Carson wants to make chocolate chip cookies, meanwhile Abby figures out she can open cabinets and empties the one under the sink, I laughed. I just pull out 2nd to last batch and it's time to pick up Pres. Abby throws up in car seat, no one laughs. Throw her in tub, put Preston in charge of watching her (only 3 inches of water) while I hose down the car seat and her clothes, I chuckle. Put Abby down for 2nd nap. Start another load of laundry. Finished last batch of cookies and cleaned up cookie mess. Started dinner and fed family. Cleaned up dinner, laughed that I've now cleaned the kitchen 4 times. Played Monopoly with family, laughed a LOT. Abby throws up on kitchen rug, no one laughs. Hose down rug and start 3rd load of laundry, another chuckle. Put kids down and send Trevor off on his "man date" (him, guys from the ward and his dad), you can all laugh, put Abby down for the night and settled into my bed, with my computer and my Friends re-runs and a half full bottle of Sparkling Cider.

Mommies shouldn't be allowed to die...

Last night I threw a mild tantrum. I wanted to buy an new dress for Cory's wedding but couldn't justify it. I want to get Carson more toys than what we've already bought for his birthday. I was so sick of financial issues. I don't want to stress about having to buy one or two extra things here and there. I was pretty grumpy when I went to bed. This morning I was forced to drop my bad attitude.

I've admitted before about my addiction to blogs, especially my friends. It's gotten worse, however, and I've started stalking my friends, friends blogs. There's one in particular. Her name is Alisa and she has stage 3 melanoma. She's a 28 year old nurse, wife and mother of 3 small boys. I've become enamoured by her story (read it here). I check her blog often to read updates on her and her family. She talks about the medical aspects (she has a great sense of humor about this) and how her family is handling everything (these parts aren't so funny). Her 6 year old son won't talk about cancer and gets upset if anyone talks about it around him. During a family home evening, where the topic was cancer, he covered his ears with his hands and refused to listen. His dad was talking about the best day of his life (the day he married Alisa) and how their family was sealed forever. How, some day, they would be together again, just like they were at that moment. How do you prepare kids for something like that?

In her last post, she talked about her 6 year old again. He's become obsessed (my words, not hers) with curing her, making her drink Noni juice and take a mushroom extract because he overheard adults talking about their benefits with battling cancer. She tried to explain that it may help but it won't cure cancer, but he just kept insisting that it would. He is so desperate to keep his mother with him. She took him on a date to the planetarium. She noticed how insignificant she was amongst all the stars and planets. But, to this little boy, she is his world. That's when she noted that mommies shouldn't be allowed to die. It broke my heart, and at the same time, lifted me so high. We all have trials and stresses in our lives. I've been whining a lot lately about my life and how weary I am with the same struggles we've had throughout our married life. The truth is I have way more to be thankful for than I could ever hope for. I can't imagine what this mother is going through. What started as an UN-suspicious mole removal, has rocked their world.

She has surgery on Tuesday to remove lymph nodes. Then, it's one month of IV injections and feeling really sick (like having the flu) and then, giving herself shots for the rest of the year. I don't really know why I'm writing about this, except she's touched me and doesn't even know me. I'm not so concerned about dresses or toys anymore.