I'm Too Old For This...An Invalid Excuse

I went to the Madonna concert last night. Whoa. Can I just say, she's only 8 years younger than my mother. Remember that. Once again, I was nervous to be in L.A. so I brought my inferior camera. It shows. I apologize.


~The view from our seats~

Amy (a friend from the early years of our marriage), had an extra ticket to the concert at Dodger Stadium. Being the generous person that she is, she offered it to me. I'll admit that I had some serious reservations about going. I'm not the biggest fan of hers. We've all heard about Madonna's questionable concerts, but Trevor encouraged me to go (was his XBOX calling?). I'm so glad I did. What a surprisingly un-raunchy show.




~Jenise (Amy's SIL), Moi, and the fabulous Amy~


I cannot believe this woman is 50 (Oops. Did I just "out" my mother's age?). She didn't stop. Ever. She was almost constantly dancing, running up and down the stage. At one point, she actually came out jump roping (yeah, it was a little cheesy) and then lived a "fantasy" of hers, by double-dutching on stage. And not just a little DD, she was hard core, doing little stunts and whatnot. She's almost certainly gone through menopause. I could no further see my mother with a jump rope than see pigs fly. No offense mom, I just don't think your bladder has it in her. She's 50! I can't get over that. Pretty inspiring and more than a little impressive.


~Performing a song with Kanye West who wasn't really there~On stage~


There were a couple of guest surprises. Brittney Spears came out and sang a song with her. It was a man/paparazzi bashing song. Fitting since they both have or are having very public divorces and are stalked by the media. Bitter much? She actually did a really great job and looked healthy and modest. I know. Shocker.


~Brit and Madonna on the Jumbo-tron (Jumbo Tron? Jumbotron?)~


One of the best performances was with J.T. That's right. Little hottie Justin Timberlake was there too. Yummy. He's so good live. Don't get me wrong, Madonna was good, but you could definitely tell when she was singing live and when she was lip syncing. He's just rad. It was icing on the cake, in fabulous eye candy fashion. Here's a little tasty snack for you. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.





Of course, there was the inevitable political crap, we all knew it was coming. It only lasted a minute or so. I was just grateful it wasn't shoved down my throat. In case you're wondering, "...if we can put a black man in the White House, we can have gay marriages! Keep up the fight!"
Whatever Madonna.


~I wonder who she voted for? Oh wait, didn't she give up her citizenship?~I think this one may have been the jump rope sequence~


There were a couple of other blog worthy moments that night, and, yes, I took pictures.


$6.50 Kettle Corn that tasted like musty shelves. It's the only way I can describe it.


~Jenise showing off her mad Vanna White skills~


25 mile car ride, to the stadium, that took just under 3 hours.


~Amy and I riding cheerfully in the car~


Crazy purple people eater lady.





There was dedication in getting this pic. We had to wait outside the bathroom for her to come back out. It takes a while to get your fishnet stockings and purple panties to fit just right under your violet corset (which is a little askew). It's a bad pic. We were trying to be subtle. I don't think it worked. After I took this picture, the guy approached us and asked us if we wanted him to take a picture of Amy and I together. We were bummed we didn't get a back shot. The cellulite was classic. I'm hating my inferior camera right now. Still, it was worth it.



The throw backs to her oldies were my fave. "You Must Love Me" was pretty. "Spanish Lullaby" blew me away. "Vogue" brought out the diva supermodel in me. Remember, I'm not a fan, I don't own a single CD of hers, but, she rocked. At 50, she rocked. I'm too old for this is now an invalid excuse for anything. Grab a jump rope Mama. We have work to do.

Man Cold and Guys Eyes

It's time to yank my cute honey off the pedestal I put him on last Tuesday. Some of you may not know what "Guys Eyes" are, or what a "Man Cold" is. Most of you know exactly what I'm talking about. Trevor has a case of both.

"Guys Eyes" is a male disorder (named in the early 21st century, by psychologist Courtney Andersen) that renders a man completely blind to something right in front of his face. For instance, when we were leaving to go, I asked Trevor to grab Preston's shoes from the basement. Brenda: "They are on the floor in front of the couch." Trevor: "They aren't here!" Brenda: "Yes they are! Look harder!" Trevor: "They aren't here!" I huff downstairs and spot a blanket on the floor in front of the couch. In the case of a man with "Guys Eyes", it's not apparent to them to actually move anything that may be obstructing their view of whatever it is that they are searching for. I removed the blanket and low and behold..."I told you they were here!" Most men will stand, blankly staring around them, without moving anything in their way or moving themselves at all. This is "Guys Eyes". Think of it the next time your honey can't find something in the fridge.

A "Man Cold" is the condition of a man who has a mild to moderate illness and acts like he is going to die. In many cases, the man's wife will have the same illness and go throughout her day without missing a beat. See example below.



All 3 of my children have been sick, Preston and Abby even spiked fevers of 102. Trevor's hasn't been higher than 99.8, yet, I feel as though the kids have been vastly...tougher. This morning, Trev was hit with "Guys Eyes" and a "Man Cold" all at once. I was trying to get the boys ready for school, yelling for them to get dressed, brush teeth, comb hair, while also changing, dressing and doing Abby's hair. Trevor is muddling around in the medicine box and finally asks me where the decongestant is. I tell him it's downstairs in the cabinet with the glasses. He schlumps down...then back up, and declares it's not there. I've hit my limit.

"Trevor, you're just going to have to wait. I'm trying to get everyone ready for school and you'll just have to wait your turn!" Why? Why is it so hard? I run the kids to school and when I come back he's given up on me and taken some Dimatapp instead. Which he claims "Made me almost throw up". I go downstairs and look in the cabinet with the glasses. Can you guess what's in there?

He spends the rest of the day in bed and only comes down when I insist that he watch Carson, so I can take Preston to the doctor. I even took Abby with me. He swears he has strep. I inform him that is highly unlikely, since he's had his tonsils out. He calls me as we are waiting to get an X-Ray of Pres's chest (he has to have one before he sees his cardiologist) and tells me that he needs to go to the doctor. But he doesn't know where to go. He asks me if I have the number of the Instacare he went to once. OH MY OZ! He is utterly helpless. I say in my most patient voice that, no, I don't know the number, why doesn't he look it up. He calls back and says they don't take our insurance. What should he do? I tell him to call his doctor to see if they can fit him in or tell him of a different instacare, but before I can even finish my sentence, he says "I'll just wait until you get home".

I then make the phone calls for him in the car, and two minutes later, I have a new instacare for him to go to. I just don't understand. Why? Why is that so hard?

He's there now and just text messaged me "I'm miserable". I'm not kidding. I love the man, as you all know, but everyone has their flaws! I can vent about this because I'm his wife, right? Now I feel guilt. I'm sure after I've gone on and on about all this he'll end up having pneumonia or something terrible. It would serve me right.

*Editor's note * He has strep throat and had a fever of 102 at the doctors office. He wants me to inform everybody that he called it. You can all say it. I'm a jerk.

WICKED!!!

OH... MY... OZ! Not to brag or anything, but my husband kicks all your husbands you know what! He suprised me with tickets to WICKED last night for our anniversary. Wa hoo! He arranged a babysitter for the kids (once again, Heather and Kirk, we owe you) and took me out to one of my favorite places to eat. In and Out.

This post is going to blow in my opinion. There's no way to put into words how WICKED AWESOME WICKED was!!! Ahhhh! So good! The Pantages theatre is amazing, the acting, phenominal. But the music, oh the music! "What Is This Feeling?", "Popular", "As Long As Your Mine", "For Good", and my favorite "Defying Gravity". That one was just so...just so...WICKED AWESOME! It ends the first act, but puts off more of a finale vibe. It totally leaves you wanting it never to end. I got choked up, I'm not going to lie to you. Amazing.

~The Pantages Theatre~Us Leaving Satisfied~

So, I just read over this, and I'm just not feeling like I'm getting my point across. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (sob, sob, sob) GOOD! If you can go, do! Don't wait, go. Right now, go. You're not going. Go!

Once again, my husband, perfect. WICKED, WICKED AWESOME. If you can go, go. End of story.

~For all you "Phantom" Fans~

~Elphaba and & Galinda in "Popular"~Elphaba and Glinda in "For Good"~

~Elphaba & Glinda~Elphaba in Defying Gravity~

Here's a couple of videos of Defying Gravity for you. The first one is a condensed version, it also features the Elphaba we saw last night. The second is the complete version with Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenowith from the original Broadway production. I just wish you could experience what it was really like!

Best Office Prank Ever

This puts Jim from The Office to shame. The prankster from this was in our ward in Utah. This is legendary!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=27IOmm7zlCw